Goodnight moon.

Bed early tonight. Know why? See pic. #beastmode

3am

My guys are snoozing.. my pillow is alive.. my stupid head is pounding.. I would probably be thinking too much but I can't think so that's not even an option. Brightness level all the way down on phone is still too bright.. that means no phone for entertainment once I post this and no xbox either.. please send sleep. Buhhhh.

Puppy Chow

My kid is addicted to blind dog's puppy chow. He sneaks handfulls into his pockets and even into his diaper, stashes them away in his bedroom, & munches all day. That can't be completely healthy. Jonah says it won't hurt him but frankly, it grosses me out. He eats like a horse all other times as well, though, so I think he literally just enjoys the taste. Today for breakfast I made Jonah & Jackson french toast, or "sweet toast" as Jax calls it, & he ate everything on his plate and half of a pear & drank all of his almond milk.. & as soon as I cleaned him up he stole like 76 puppy nuggets and shoved them all in his mouth at once.

Oh well. Iron, fiber, calcium, multiple vitamins.. rollin' with the punches here on Cherry Hill.

Asthma?

So, last summer I came down with double pneumonia & it lasted about eight weeks. Because of the extensive damage to my lungs, I developed asthma. I never actually had an asthma attack until today. I had felt some pain in the hollow of my throat before & used my rescue inhaler as needed, but today I had the most terrifying moment I think I have ever experienced. Jonah & two of his friends were on the porch & I walked out to say hello. Before I said anything I yawned. Not a huge yawn.. just a normal everyday my-brain-needs-oxygen-randomly yawn. I felt the pain in my throat, so I sat down & tried to relax a little bit because sometimes that keeps me from having to use an inhaler at all & I was pretty sure both of my Xopenex inhalers were still packed from the cruise. Within about fourteen seconds, my airways were completely closed off & I was panicking. I felt like Joffrey at his wedding feast. I walked inside to scramble for an inhaler & started seeing black spots in my vision & my chest started heaving so I walked back out & tried to choke out words that would make sense to Jonah. He understood & immediately jumped up to help me. He found my Xopenex inhaler almost immediately & then quickly realized I needed the beefier Albuterol rescue inhaler, so he pulled me to the floor, stretched my legs out in front of me & raised my hands above my head, making me lean back against our kitchen cabinets. He dug out the Albuterol inhaler & I finally got some relief & then I realized I was also having a panic attack.

& that was my evening! Oh & I also cooked some really awesome black bean soup & watched Grey's Anatomy reruns & played with my kid. But mostly, I had my first actual asthma attack & my lips turned blue & all I could think was that if Jonah hadn't been home & hadn't known where my inhalers were.. well, I don't want to think about it. Jackson was already asleep, but he's two years old anyway, so I'mmmmmmmmmm not entirely sure what he could have done for me anyway.

Just a scary situation.

& that's right guys. I'm the asthmatic girl. I never in my entire life thought that I would have ANY health problems. I'm now twenty-four years old & terrified to be more than ten feet from a rescue inhaler, sleep with nasal spray next to my bed, take a plethora of medications each morning & evening, have a neurologist that knows me by name, a chiropractor who thinks I'm a lost cause, & am starting pain management soon. Seriously. How did I GET THESE GENES? Oohhh the luck.

It's been a long time but I'm back in town...

So Jonah & I have both officially quit Facebook. Again. We will see how long this lasts. I personally plan to make it permanent. I honestly cannot stand that website. I miss the days of not knowing what hundreds of people were doing at any given moment.There aren't all that many people who I really care to keep in touch with at great lengths, & I plan to give the select few the link to this blog, or simply email them.

My last post was made on my 23rd birthday. I turned 24 last month. I suck at keeping a blog up to date. Maybe this go round I will succeed.

Jonah & I just returned yesterday from a Caribbean cruise. Meh.. I know I sound supremely negative but I think we just arent cruise ship people. We agreed we will definitely be going back to Cozumel but it will be by plane. I won't deny the inate beauty of the place though. It has me wanting to go to every tropical destination possible now. Up until this past week I was a hater of the beach. I guess that's just how you feel when you've grown up knowing no other salt waters other than the muddy ones of the Gulf. I remember thinking Florida was pretty.. & then I thought Progreso was beautiful.. & then I met Cozumel. Mmmmmmmm :)

Jackson is a brainiac & speaks in full sentences & definitely drew all over my recliner & 6 of my walls, my kitchen cabinets, & 2 doors with a Sharpie. It's my fault though :( I turned the bottom half of his bedroom wall into a chalkboard, thinking I would teach him boundaries & introduce him to apersonal creativity & rules in one fell swoop. Nope. I instead taught him that it is completely acceptable to turn the entire world into your own personal canvas of destruction. Poor baby was a little confused. Poor mama has a lot of painting to do.

Blind dog is still blind. Poor Stoney. It seems he has cataracts. Surgery is an option but honestly, having a blind dog is too great & I have never been one to spend a lot of money on optional surgeries for animals. His quality of life is not lessened now that he has learned the layout of his home, & cataracts won't kill the pup. He doesn't have the urge to leave our property & I believe its because he relies heavily upon scent instead of sight. He only chews on the toys that belong to him, he has a designated poop spot, he sleeps in the same place every night, & as long as he recognizes your voice or scent, he won't yap at you. He is by far the best dog we have ever had. There's just the whole peeing everywhere when excited thing. He is almost 6 months old.  I hope that stops soon. -.-

I guess that's enough for one update. Pics to come soon of the cruise :)
-T